good good things.

Today . . . was not so great: I was frustrated with my students for most of the morning; my checkcard was declined for like, $6.00 (despite having considerably more than that in the bank); I bashed my head on the handle to my industrial-sized papercutter (the only way I might be sort of alright with this is if I end up with a ridiculous bruise and/or knot right in the middle of my forehead); and upon receiving my paycheck, was sorely disappointed in the amount of money printed on it (it was much less than I had anticipated).

But I spent time with my parents and little sister, and I'm feeling much better. I love my family more than anything on Earth. Especially my dad; we have an identical sense of humor. This is him, by the way:

See from whence I get my striking good looks? Hahaha. Check out his fucking Rolex. He's about as All-American as they get, yeah?

Some other circumstances putting me in better spirits, lately:

• Blake being in town for a couple of days. We are going to Soul Veg this week. I hate RVA for stealing him away from me.
• Kenterious singing, "No one on the corner has spiderback cots," today instead of, "Swagger like us." With a lisp, to boot. Hilarious.
• Rediscovering the mixed cd Ariel Ali Arro brought me when he visited; it is amazing.
• Getting PMA tattooed between the fingers on my right hand. I am determined to have this accomplished by the end of the week.
• Realizing that this is the beginning of the rest of my life. And being more than okay with it.

To work and to bed.

if it weren't for hard luck . . .

Yay!

• My students/hundreds of hugs every week;
• My family;
• My friends;
• Mom having my enormous diploma framed;
• PAID on Tuesday (!!!!);
• Turning 25 = Straight Edge for 9 years;
• Gettin' mah grill fixed;
• Gettin' tattooed (?);
• Gettin' a pup;
• Losing weight;
• All the movies (coming) out;
• Champ touring with Have Heart/seeing Europe;
• Halloween in a month!!!!

Boo.

• Falling down the stairs (again) this morning;
• Irreparable damage being done to the right member of my most favorite pair of flips;
• http://www.scrabulous.com/ disappearing off the face of the internet;
• Living 20+ minutes away from everyone I love;
• My students' nutcase parents;
• Working at Love T. Nolan Germ Factory;
• FCSS suddenly cancelling Blue Cross/being forced to find a new health insurance provider ASAP;
• Bills of every sort;
• (I really don't even need to say it, but) Gas;
• My mom trying to set me up with her dentist's son . . . her dentist's accountant son;
• Turning 25;
• Best friend gone for three months/my birthday;
• 3,600 grades due in less than three weeks.

I am furiously writing lesson plans and assessments. I will be stuck at home grading for the next few weeks; come hang out with me. You can help me write mean notes to parents and I will make you din-din.

EDIT:

I watched the debates Friday and I have to admit I was not impressed. The only time I clapped was during Obama's explanation that a federal spending freeze is not, in fact, a good idea because there are too many smaller/fledgling but important government programs with limited funding now--like Early Childhood Education--that would be seriously negatively impacted by a cut in spending, especially one that significant.

Of course, the first debate was focused on foreign policy--although, domestic issues were brought up repeatedly. I'm looking forward to the remaining debates. Definitely interested to see what both candidates have to say about education reform--NCLB, in particular.

And you better believe I'll be watching the Vice Presidential debate this week. But almost strictly for its entertainment value; that mother fucker is a trainwreck waiting to happen. It totally has that so-horrible-but-can't-look-away-phenomenon written all over it. Hahaha. Weeee!

Back to work!

it's the mother fucking weekend:

Can I get an Amen?

no hope, no harm.

I think too much. Turn my brain oofffff.

thoroughly depressing.

I just bought a can of blackeyed peas for dinner . . . with change.

I've said it before; I'll say it again: I hate money.





EDIT:

If I tell you I want to get off the phone and/or don't feel like talking (to anyone) at the moment, please just say your goodbyes and hang up.

I'm stressed. I'm frustrated. I need would like a partner in crime who cuddles and hold hands sometimes. Especially on Wednesdays and Fridays.




Get me outta here.

seriously?

I just wanted to go on record as stating that this is the worst season of Project Runway, ever.

EVER.

Ugh. Give me back Kelli, you idiots. Or--better yet--Jeffrey Sebelia. And tell Suede Suede can fuck Suede in Suede's ass.




Dasjbfhu8fyvibf.

it's nights like these . . .

Let me preface this entry by explaining that in real life, I'm a much more positive person than this blog would lead one to believe. I swear. I guess I save all the venting for paper . . . of the electronic variety? Anyway.

Right this minute, my head is packed full of a million unorganized thoughts and twice as many second guesses.

I understand that everything in life works in some kind of equilibrium; that the good comes with the bad. But goddamn. Can I catch a break? Just gimme a couple more good circumstances than bad. This one time.

More than once in the last few weeks I've been confronted with a serious case of doubt about teaching. Not self-doubt, exactly. Because I do think I'm fully capable . . . of teaching successfully, that is. Withstanding and overcoming the bureaucracy, the politics, the stress and exhaustion that accompany this profession is an entirely different story, however. And that story is totally fucking with my head.

Do I think I can deal with those kinds of issues? Yes. I've made it through some intense junk before now. Do I want to deal with those kinds of issues everyday for the next 10, 20, 30 years? That's where I'm not sure.

Of course, when I bring these questions up to other people--particularly close friends and family--I get the same answer every time: This is what you're made for. This is why you're here. Everyone around you knows that.

I don't know that.

Don't get me wrong, either: when I say I love my job, I mean it. The kids are incredible. It's not them; it never was.

Hmph. I don't want to get into all the other garbage that's currently getting me down. I hate money, though. And the more I think about what paper currency actually is, the closer my brains come to exploding out of my earholes/eyeholes/noseholes.

Blegh. Oh, well. Bedtiiiime. My favorite!

weird.

Weird.

furious.

I glanced at my paycheck from Fulton County Schools this morning only to find that in big, bold writing in the bottom right-hand corner it reads:

NON-NEGOTIABLE

DIRECT DEPOSIT

Which would be fine--fantastic, even--if I'd given Payroll ANY banking information when I received my contract.

See, I know I didn't because I wasn't sure if I'd be banking with the Fulton Teachers' Credit Union or if I'd just stick with Georgia Power Federal Credit Union, where the rest of my family has accounts. I didn't want to give them any direct deposit info because I was afraid I'd have to change it again in a couple months.

This means that my paycheck--the paycheck I really need to pay rent and car insurance, like, LAST WEEK--was just deposited into . . . nowhere. Into the fucking Universe.

Good. Great. Grand.

Anything else??