slowly we rot.

Drove to and from Raleigh last night for Obituary. It was good. But I'm exhausted.

Got a few hours of sleep and then stopped by Mom and Dad's to visit with some family for Memorial Day. Cooked out.

Cleaning house now. Bought new sheets and towels. A new mattress pad. Expecting out-of-town company tonight, maybe. I'm excited.

More traveling soon. I like this. I like having summers off.

I've hated orange juice my whole life. I love it now. No pulp, though. I still hate pulp.

that's all.

I don't know how I haven't posted this yet, but my Donors Choose project is officially funded.

I raised $701.00 for my classroom.

I can't believe how quickly it came together. And that it actually happened. Most of the donors were anonymous and/or complete strangers, too. Unbelievable. So cool.

I want a BlackBerry so I can walk around my classroom while kids are working and input grades with Easy Grade Pro, then sync the data with EGP on my laptop.

Waiting till 4:00 for my paycheck to deposit. I need gas and groceries badly.

Hanging out with Eddie this evening. Dunno what we're doing.

Alabama tomorrow for a few hours. Then North Carolina Saturday for Obituary.

SLkcmoiasdfjwfoig. Bored.

i hope you read this.

If you ever talk to my friend(s) that way again, I'll call DHR on you so fast it'll make your crazy head spin.

jurassic park.

I have done nothing but cook, bake, and sleep the last two days.

So far, I've made penne with marinara and Gimme Lean meatballs, bread, pancakes, and cookies.

All vegan!

I slept 14 hours yesterday and 13 today.

Seven donations in under 36 hours on Donors Choose. Insane. Only $200 or so left before my project is fully funded. I can't believe it. I never thought it would work, but it has. And I'm genuinely grateful.

Hung out with Kevin for a little while today.

Mom comes home tomorrow.

Two days of post-planning this week and I'm done until the middle of August. Could not have come sooner.

What to do for dinner?

i don't know what to do.

I need to paint before my head explodes.

I also need this week to pass smoothly. And quickly.

Today was awesome and horrible.

The kids were nuts--of course--but, as my department head said last week when she visited, "at this point, it's just containment." Haha.

Anonymous donation on www.donorschoose.org/ms.traynor today. $50.00. I couldn't believe it. Some girl from Marina Del Rey, California. Sometimes, the kindness and generosity of strangers baffles me.

Then, a call back from Clothing Warehouse for an interview, and I just applied last night. Hopefully that pans out.

But I got a text from Mom asking to call her when I had a break, and she told me Gramma Dottie's in the hospital again and this time, "it doesn't look good."

Just kill me.

I am completely shut down right now. So I don't freak the fuck out.

tired.

This makes me happy:

So did this:

Boys just annoy me at this point.

I am looking forward to next school year already.

Watched most of this last night with BT. Had to pick Dooley and Krista up at the airport with like, ten minutes left of the movie. UGH. It's reeally good so far. I like it a lot. I told him to put the original Haunting on his Netflix, too. One of my favorite horror flicks.

Also, since I'm terrible at keeping surprises a surprise, this is what I got Eddie V. for his birthday:

An original Metallica Shortest Straw 1988 tour shirt. I couldn't keep my mouth shut about it. I was too excited. It should be here by his real birthday.

I'm exhausted. I am ready for the 21st.

Almost time for a new phone/contract.

Hanging out with Blake tonight maybe? Dunno.

blue skies, green water.

I made this to donate to a charity event Friday night. Drove to Birmingham and back, actually. It went for $85 in the silent auction. Pretty cool, I think. Of course, it makes me miss throwing.

Also, I GOT A MOTHER FUCKING CONTRACT. I have a job. And I'm staying at my school. I was so relieved. I had a bewildered smile plastered on my face the rest of Friday afternoon and I got three high fives on the way back to my classroom. So happy.

Eddie's birthday party yesterday was really fun.

Brunch at Mosaic today. Shopping. And dinner. I love my family.

Two weeks left of school. Motown Review Thursday. Holy shit. Cannot wait. Jamie, Donald, and Mom are all coming.

there's no union.

Now two (possibly three) of my personal friends have lost their Art teaching jobs. In the last week. One from my own district. And another from Paulding County with whom I graduated.

There's also some confusion over RIFed teachers accepting non-renewal or choosing resignation and the implications of each. The information is just surfacing and it's depressing, to say the least: If a teacher accepts non-renewal, she is eligible to collect unemployment benefits. But to prospective employers, a contract that hasn't been renewed, "is like a scarlet letter pinned on a teacher." Huge red flag. Most districts won't consider an application from non-renewed candidates. If a teacher chooses, instead, to resign, she is no longer eligible for unemployment, but her resume is safe.

Fucking bullshit. Just bullshit. There's no other word for it. I already asked my mom today, how many more ways can they fuck us? They being Sonny Purdue and his cronies, that apologist Uncle Tom Kathy Cox, and, in some cases, even our own school districts.

I want to write more about this. There's a lot I want to write. Maybe I will soon. I'm drained for now.

More Field Day tomorrow. Today was fun. We even had a cook out.

i will die with both of my hands untied.

Calling death an "unbreakable appointment," Morrissey was ever the brooding poet in his tribute to Hsu. "Life's only promise is its final deadline. When Mel, and others who are dear to us, depart, we should at least realize as we shuffle along living our small and persecuted lives, how absolutely ridiculous it is to be afraid of anything or anyone on this unhappy planet."

Also, True Life ruined me tonight.

BUT . . . I got two donations on www.DonorsChoose.org today and the Motown Review is coming along sooo well.

Stomach is bothering me. Bed soon.

back to bed?

Yesterday was good. Really, this weekend has been nice so far.

Dinner at Twisted Taco with Mom and Kevin Friday night. It was awesome. Then to Marc's. We watched They Live and American Hardcore and I taught him how to play Scrabble. How any child was raised in a Scrabble-less home is entirely beyond me. We have a fancy wooden board that spins at our house.

Breakfast with Rachel before she started moving out Saturday.

Grocery shopping.

Bought this (it is a dress, thank you; not a jumper):

Got this (these?):

Then went to Sten's art show with Champ. It was amazing. All the Steven Dixey stuff I wanted was sold by the time I got there, though.

The Local with BT afterward. He cheered me up.

Not sure what I'm doing today. I'd like to go shopping with Mom.

They bought the Council Fire house, by the way. The one I posted. They close end of June. I'm actually, honestly excited.