i told you to be patient.

The tree has been decorated. It's prettier in person.

Wrote a lesson plan. Made a new color theory PowerPoint. Took Davey out to play with friends. Ran errands/grocery shopped. I guess today was productive. Would've liked to clean some.

Back to work tomorrow.

trouble.

Atlanta → Auburn → Wetumpka → Atlanta. All today. Great God. I am exhausted. But really glad I got to see my grammas.

Wanted to go to the movies. Cannot. Too tired.

I need the Traveling Wilburys on my 'Pod immediately. And more Roy Orbison in general. Goddamnit, I love him.

An old man on his death bed whispered to me,

"You are the master of your destiny."

A diamond is a diamond, a stone a stone;

but a man’s not all good nor all bad.

Call them as you see them; you’ll stand alone.

You’re the best friend that you ever had.

quit bein' a baby.

Sad (family) news earlier.

Sufficiently aggravated both my pets. One with a marginally successful nail clipping. The other with flea and tick meds.

But . . .

You should bring me in for show and tell.

may or may not have made my night.

More drawing ideas. Maybe a series?!?

Right now, I'm exhausted. Bed soon, I imagine.

jesus christ on the cross.

Not eating for days.

your head will collapse.

More work. A few changes. I am happy.

I don't know if I'll paint it or not. I should. But I always ruin my line drawings when I do. It's funny: I love painting so much and I'm not all that great at it. Watercolor, anyway. This style, really.

Sleep. Big day tomorrow.

tomorrow's menu.

Vegan:

• Celebration Roast
• Tofurky "giblet" gravy
• green bean salad
• sweet potato casserole
• stuffing
• cranberry apple compote

Non-Vegan:

• turkey
• real giblet gravy (barf)
• oyster dressing
• classic stuffing
• green bean casserole
• hot pineapple (Mom's specialty)
• squash casserole
• hashbrown casserole
• shrimp canapé

Dessert:

• pumpkin mousse pie
• french silk pie
• cherry crisp

Holy shit. And rolls, of course. Twelve kinds of drinks. Me, Mom, and Jamie have been cooking all afternoon. You name it, we got it. So excited.

show me a leaf!

So, the thread to my mom's FB status update about her quest for a tofurky may be the most absurd shit I've seen in a long time. I know if I'm biting my tongue this hard, my little brother is punching himself in the face right now.

Buncha smart ass grown ups with too much time on their hands and access to social networking sites.

As a matter of fact, I had a phone conversation with my mom yesterday about how she was so bored at work she like, beat the final boss on Bejeweled or some shit but couldn't post her high score on FB because everyone would know she was playing at work. Hahahahaha. Goddamnit. I love my mom so much.

And can my family be on Family Feud, please? We would systematically take over the world.

Baked myself some vegan scones--with fake cream cheese filling--for breakfast. The things you'll do when you're flat broke.

I had a dream the other night that I was tattooing myself. Haha. Stick-and-poke, no less. But it looked good.

Getting off here.

post 301.

Hit the door at 3:00.

Home since. Baking. Cooking. Drawing. Texting. Has been excellent. And such a relief knowing I don't work tomorrow.

Here's what I started:

It's still a rough sketch. Chris said it's, "Kinda confusing, but tight." Hahaha. I like it so far. Probably post more later.

Speaking of, we might have an 11th guest at Thanksgiving this year. We shall see.

Bed soon, maybe?

heartsick.

A fight broke out in my room during fifth grade today, right at the end of class. I didn't realize what was going on or who was involved until I turned around. Some shit that just got skipped from fourth to fifth and one of my favorite students were fucking pummeling eachother.

Normally, I'd break it up, scold them, and send 'em to the office. But when I realized 1) that these kids are bigger than me and 2) that it was Onterrell--probably the sweetest, most well-mannered and soft-spoken student I have--I almost lost it. I was trying really hard to hold back tears.

Today was just an off day anyway. Which is ironic, because I walked into work this morning excited for the first time in a long time. Anyway. Kicked a bunch of other fifth graders out. Another really nice, quiet first grader came in crying because her mom's car had been stolen over night; they were supposed to be going to Florida this week. And the whole school is restless as fuck because we're out for Thanksgiving after tomorrow and no one's had a break in months--since September, actually.

To be honest, this whole week has been off.

I'm looking forward to the holidays and I'm not. I need to see my family and I need the time off. But it's like my birthday: excited until arrival. Then something always goes horribly wrong.

Ideas for new paintings. Should probably finish others first. Heh.

KLMDfoiwnefg. Dinner.

rosie posie.

Fuck my life. Mix it up.

preoccupied.

Slept a lot this weekend. Sleeping more this week.

Traynor Thanksgiving at Mom and Dad's Thursday. Bringing asparagus with lemon and balsamic and vegan sweet potato casserole. Alabama for a couple days for O'Bryan/Sanders Thanksgiving. Not bringing shit; Mama is an amazing cook.

Shows were good. Funny.

Today sucked. My slumber was punctuated by dogshit and vomit. Davey is such a dick sometimes. I did just make myself a really good mock medianoche sangwich, though. Mm mm mm.

Determined to spend Winter Break painting or traveling. Maybe Cro Mags in Philly with Chris?

Always bedtime.

who gossips with you will gossip of you.

I've written three different posts.

It's not worth the trouble.

Just leave me alone. Please.

I worked thirteen hours today; 7:00 am to 8:00 pm.

I can't think straight. I'm going to bed.

don't get me started.

First of all, the email was about the conference; the conference was awesome; I am totally relieved. She even gave me a heads up about the grade level and ETA of my next observation. Bucklin' down!

Secondly, today was Early Release. No classes. But I had an Art Department meeting in Chamblee. It was good.

At the moment, I'm re-writing a lesson that I was already stoked on. Twice as stoked now. Keeping both versions.

Also, losing my mind over the fact that--simply because I'm a teacher--I can check out 50 fucking books at a time from any library in the Atlanta-Fulton Public Library system; and that I can keep and renew them for up to two months; AND that they have 29 copies of the book I'm incorporating into the lesson I'm currently rewriting. Probably the only person on earth who would get excited about borrowing books en masse. Fuck iiittt!

I hate the news. I love Chopped, however. And Project Runway. Of course. Cannot wait for the finale tomorrow. Mean-a Irina, go home.

No food. No money. No gas. NO CARES. Hahaha.

psycho.

Just took Davey to Park Grounds to play with Milo and Ben and Pearl. He's nuts.

Back to school for a little while for Curriculum Night. Ugh.

Am not getting back out afterward. Maybe picking up some takeout from Ru San's--remembered my birthday gift certificate yesterday.

Speaking of school: just got an email from my AP.

I need to speak with you. Stop by my office on tomorrow (11/18/09). Thanks.

Now. I'm due for a conference about my first formal observation--which went really well. And that email is totally nondescript. Short, yeah. But not alarming or unusual. The point is . . . I get myself worked up over shit like this.

Back to school. Guuhh.

EDIT:

Davey decided he had to piss and beelined it for my bed.

Kill me now.

start today.

Uh. Last night was a . . . wake up call? To say the least. Haha. I was bummed. Today, I'm alright.

School was good. I'm hanging out with EDV tonight in lieu of going to the Hatebreed show. I can't afford it--$22.50? Come on, now--and it's at the Masquerade so it'll be chock full of ding dongs.

My upstairs neighbors are shits.

Straightening house quick and then headed to McDonough, I suppose.

I need ideas for drawings!

good good things.

I'm sure I've used that title before. But I love that song so much.

This weekend was alright. I skipped work Friday. Show last night was good. Met some new people. Slept late today. Writing lesson plans and watching TV since I woke up. Eh.

Fall/Winter is weird. I love this time of year, despite the memories and uncertainty this weather dredges up.

Trying some new medicine. I've lost 3 or 4 pounds since I started it. And I've been laughing a lot again. I feel good.

I want to paint something big. And read more books. New stuff.

Blah blah blah.

headache.

Wrote three lesson plans today. Found and eradicated flees on Fat. Ran a couple errands.

Thanksgiving Break: 25 - 29 November.

Winter Holidays: 19 December - 3 January.

Get me out of this house!!

seasonal affective disorder.

You're gettin' too big for your britches, little boy. Be careful there.

Made Hank his birthday cookies. Fifty-two of them, to be exact. He does not have to share.

School carnival today was alright. I painted at least twelve million faces. It was hot out, too. Ugh.

No plans tonight. I imagine I'll stay in unless someone calls.

what's the meanest you can be?

School was locked down for almost an hour and a half today. Robbery suspect on the run. All is well, though.

Oh, and there was a pseudo-fight in my room, too. First one so far this year. Quantavious popped another kid square in the cheek. I was standing between them and he reached around me. I mean, there was an audible, "SMACK!"

Now, I'm home with a headache. And this dark-at-6:00 thing is screwin' me up. I took a nap yesterday till 7:45 and was back in bed by 8:30. I needed that sleep. Guh.

Couple lesson plans to do. Gotta get dinner sometime.

I'm ready for Thanksgiving Break.

i know it's gonna be okay.

Feeling much better--mentally and emotionally. Just since yesterday, even.

PMS + no meds + ill fallen family member = a recipe for wide-spread disaster.

That much, I know. I know how I get when something (nearly) catastrophic happens. When I'm stressed out, my brain starts shutting down all my common sense receptors one giant switch at a time. Ugh. Then comes overanalyzing--anything and everything, related or not. Next is compulsion. And finally, complete and total embarrassment at the stupid fucking questions I asked or conversations that started about shit that never would've bothered me to begin with.

Just laying low for now, I guess. Immersing myself in work.

I've gotten a few complements from the administration in recent days, actually. It's nice.

I'm so fucking busy, too. But I feel like I'm not busy enough. Like, I should be so swamped, I can't think because my brain is just saturated.

Anyway. I really want a nap. So does Davey Crockett. Fat One's already snoozin'.

sing me to sleep.

Here's (a shitty picture of) my costume last night. No full-length mirrors at the kids' house.

Rainy and cold, but I'd trek through the snow for those kids/Halloween. We also saw Where The Wild Things Are. It was really good. Sad. But good.

The rest of the night was . . . eh. If you can't tell by my previous post. Please excuse said post, btw. Thoroughly embarrassed.

I got up early and drove to Auburn. All I could think about was not going, something awful happening, and then being a permanent wreck because I made a stupid decision. Anyway. She flicked me off three times and was cracking her usual jokes. I feel a little better.

Tonight? Shower. LPs. Mom and Dad's for a second. And Harmony with Ashley, Tuk, and their most recent house guest/the newest member of the Poison Arrows. I miss Ashley like crazy. Excited.

Anyway. Work to do.