workin' for the man.

Before:



After:



Starting to look like a claaassrooom! Lots more work to do, though.

I would like the following items:









Out to eat with Rachel. I'll add more later.

that baby don't look like me.

Guuuhhhh.

I have been in the strangest mood the last few days. Exceptionally tired, even after a full night's rest; spaced out; no attention span. I've got to snap out of it.

Maybe it's because I opened $10,000 worth of bills from Northside Hospital yesterday and fried my brain.

On a lighter note, I received a couple of emails from my good friend Jack Shearer this week. He transferred to Burkina Faso, Africa after a promotion earlier this year. I hadn't heard from him in a few months and kept picturing him in pieces, strewn across the fucking Serengeti. Haha. But he's fine! Just a little homesick. Waiting for a more detailed update.




Also, I fell down the stairs this morning: Flip Flops + Carpeted Stairs = Disaster.

Edit:

I miss Champ.

things unfolding.

So. There have been some really interesting developments amidst the Traynors and O'Bryans over the last few days. The pseudo-family-secret-unravelling sort of developments.

On a trip to Montgomery with my mom several months ago, a thought struck me and I decided to ask her if Mama--her mother--had ever been married before she and my biological grandfather--who died when my mom was 19 and whom I never knew--were married. Reluctantly, she said yes, briefly explained, and threatened my life if I ever told Mama what she'd said. Not really. I quickly followed that inquiry with the next logical question: Did they have any children?

Well, they had. Two sons. But my grandmother and her first husband ended up separating, Mama gave up custody of the boys, and lost touch with that side of our family over the years.

Fast forward to this week: a young woman emailed my sister recently and mentioned a possible family tie. Long-story-short, we've all come to the conclusion that she is the daughter of one of my grandmother's children from her first marriage! My cousin.

Really interesting stuff. The resemblance between this new-found cousin and my mom is uncanny. I'll have to post pictures.

Gotta go. Lots more time to waste.

working.

I've started planning Fall semester. It is organized as follows:

Month → Grade → National/Georgia/Fulton County Curriculum Standards → Element and/or Principle of Design → Culture or Genre (if applicable) → Specific Lesson.

TA DA! I still have a LOT of work to do. But being able to lay the year out in a way that makes sense to me and can easily be added to or edited makes me feel much better. I'm really excited to get into my classroom tomorrow, as well.

In other news, I have a few ideas for new artwork. Excited to get started on those. I'm sure I'll post pictures here later.

Blog = Procrastination Facilitator.

worry wart.

I'm leaving for my hometown in the next few minutes. I wasn't planning on this trip, but I don't mind it. I think I'll be driving through a storm.

Gramma Dottie isn't doing well. She's getting over pneumonia; she won't eat. She's stubborn as shit. And hilarious (she flicks people off regularly for her own entertainment . . . and mine). My parents are already there.

I'm sleeping on the most comfortable couch in the world tonight.

Back tomorrow.

meantime.

I have concluded that my shitty disposition lately is a direct result of boredom. When I've got time to ponder all the junk I'm dealing with that would, under normal circumstances, be totally forgettable, it gets me down.

The solution is simple, it would seem. Get busy. Occupy myself. Be productive.

My dilemma is this: when I'm bummed, I'm like a human paperweight. Utterly worthless. I don't feel like moving. I'd rather keep the cushions pinned firmly to the couch (or the pillows to my bed, depending on the time of day) than anything else. You know, to keep them from floating into space. Or something.

I guess that makes me a human pillow-weight.

Anyway. It's a vicious fucking cycle!! The more depressed I am, the faster--and deeper--I sink into the couch and/or bed. The less I move, the more time I have to think and, consequently, become all the more melancholy.

Shoot me, already.

I gotta get out of this rut. The beginning of the school year is fast approaching and I am not prepared.

On an unrelated note, I love the Beatsteaks. And I love this song:

Watch me overcome
what I'm running from
and change the tune.

So, I let it go.
What matters now
is the story. Soon

I get up,
try my luck;
it starts to call on me.

Never sure
how it feels.
So, let it rain on me.

In the meantime, you're in between time.

What I care to see:
lay your hands on me
and just for now

let me bury too
what is scaring you
six feet underground.

Got a whole bag of trouble to be taken away
and my veins keep throbbing when I'm out on display.
Couldn't this be the moment to discover my intentions?
Will you ever?
May be never.

Take me away to be closer
Take me away to be closer.

In the meantime, you're in between time.

I guess I'll try and force myself out of this canyon in my furniture now . . .

insomnia.

I

can't

sleep . . .

(boring) beginnings.

I have finally made the decision to follow suit and create a blog to document the things that are happening in my life currently. While I've used livejournal in the past, I haven't published one of these things. It seems like the appropriate time--a new job, new home, new life (?)--but I'm not sure, exactly, what direction it will take. I suppose we'll see about that in the coming weeks.

I imagine I should start with some sort of update? Speaking of that new job: I recently received my certification from the Georgia Professional Standards Commission. Even more than landing the job itself, this makes me feel like a real educator; the requirements are somewhat stringent. Earning it is fantastic. Unreal, actually. I'm probably in for a rude awakening on the first day of school. Heh. That school, by the way, is Love T. Nolan Elementary in College Park, just south of Atlanta, near the airport. It's around 30 years old but has been kept up really well. I'm the full-time Art teacher there now, with my own room and everything. Blown away. Denise Jennings submitted my name for the opening and it was offered to me the day after my interview. I've been told it's, "the best position in South Fulton." I've got 'em fooled! Haha.

In general, I am the happiest I've ever been. Single for at least a year now and actually enjoying it. I've been genuinely interested in just a couple of people, but things haven't worked out--probably for the better, considering the amount of responsibility I've taken on and the proverbial list of things I'd like to do independently.

I've gotten closer to my family, my little brother in particular. He is one of my best friends. They moved recently, too; from Forsyth County to Buckhead. It's nice having them so close. Or it was: now I've moved south nearer Nolan ES. The only drawback is the distance between myself and Judy and the kids. I can't swing by when I'm visiting Mom and Dad anymore. And since Rolf died unexpectedly last year, I feel like I need to be available to them whenever they need me--as a nanny or a friend.

Since Rolf's death, there have been three others: Annie, Lucy, and Aunt Delle. None of this is really anything I've had to deal with in the past. Every once in a while I'll realize that neither of my father's parents are in good health and that they may not be at my wedding--assuming I have one--or ever meet my children--those, I'll definitely have. I try my hardest to avoid that train of thought, though, because I'll recall my parents' own mortality. Or my siblings'. Heartbreaking. I could barely handle my cat running away last weekend; I cried all day when I realized she was gone.

Quickly, I'll sum up the summer so far:

• Job offer;
• Graduation;
• Europe;
• Funeral;
• Losing new(er) friends;
• Reconnecting with old friends;
• Kidney stones and money trouble;
• Runaway cat;
• Certification;
• The hardest thing I've ever been through.

Lots of ups and downs. I might expand on some of those when I'm not so tired. For now, I'm through.

EDIT:

I am still Straight Edge.