meantime.

I have concluded that my shitty disposition lately is a direct result of boredom. When I've got time to ponder all the junk I'm dealing with that would, under normal circumstances, be totally forgettable, it gets me down.

The solution is simple, it would seem. Get busy. Occupy myself. Be productive.

My dilemma is this: when I'm bummed, I'm like a human paperweight. Utterly worthless. I don't feel like moving. I'd rather keep the cushions pinned firmly to the couch (or the pillows to my bed, depending on the time of day) than anything else. You know, to keep them from floating into space. Or something.

I guess that makes me a human pillow-weight.

Anyway. It's a vicious fucking cycle!! The more depressed I am, the faster--and deeper--I sink into the couch and/or bed. The less I move, the more time I have to think and, consequently, become all the more melancholy.

Shoot me, already.

I gotta get out of this rut. The beginning of the school year is fast approaching and I am not prepared.

On an unrelated note, I love the Beatsteaks. And I love this song:

Watch me overcome
what I'm running from
and change the tune.

So, I let it go.
What matters now
is the story. Soon

I get up,
try my luck;
it starts to call on me.

Never sure
how it feels.
So, let it rain on me.

In the meantime, you're in between time.

What I care to see:
lay your hands on me
and just for now

let me bury too
what is scaring you
six feet underground.

Got a whole bag of trouble to be taken away
and my veins keep throbbing when I'm out on display.
Couldn't this be the moment to discover my intentions?
Will you ever?
May be never.

Take me away to be closer
Take me away to be closer.

In the meantime, you're in between time.

I guess I'll try and force myself out of this canyon in my furniture now . . .