heartsick.

A fight broke out in my room during fifth grade today, right at the end of class. I didn't realize what was going on or who was involved until I turned around. Some shit that just got skipped from fourth to fifth and one of my favorite students were fucking pummeling eachother.

Normally, I'd break it up, scold them, and send 'em to the office. But when I realized 1) that these kids are bigger than me and 2) that it was Onterrell--probably the sweetest, most well-mannered and soft-spoken student I have--I almost lost it. I was trying really hard to hold back tears.

Today was just an off day anyway. Which is ironic, because I walked into work this morning excited for the first time in a long time. Anyway. Kicked a bunch of other fifth graders out. Another really nice, quiet first grader came in crying because her mom's car had been stolen over night; they were supposed to be going to Florida this week. And the whole school is restless as fuck because we're out for Thanksgiving after tomorrow and no one's had a break in months--since September, actually.

To be honest, this whole week has been off.

I'm looking forward to the holidays and I'm not. I need to see my family and I need the time off. But it's like my birthday: excited until arrival. Then something always goes horribly wrong.

Ideas for new paintings. Should probably finish others first. Heh.

KLMDfoiwnefg. Dinner.