let it go.

They are putting my paternal grandmother in an "Assisted Living Facility" this weekend. I desperately miss my best friend. And I'm pretty sure I like somebody who can't really (or probably just doesn't) like me back, when I shouldn't be (and don't want to be) worried about any kind of relationship to begin with.

More than anything, I'm coming to grips with my grandparents' mortality. I've never lost anyone particularly close to me. And when this happens, it's going to be fucking crushing. I've never understood people who don't like their grammas/grandparents/entire families; mine are incredible. I love them with all my heart. Which makes realizing they may never see me get hitched (pah) or meet my kids that much more devastating.

I don't know what to do with myself right now. Like I said, I need those letters drilled into my fingers again.

EDIT:

I am grateful for everything I have and everything I go through.

"Fall seven times, stand up eight."

EDIT:

Could somebody please get me new headphones. The cat destroyed mine. I wanna listen to Band of Horses in bed, goddamnit.